late night..

I want to go to bed but feel like I'll be laying there crying.. NO its not the hormones.. Just... heart is heavy at the moment.. Theres a few things i need to fix to make it better, but haven't found the right time to do that or can't bring myself to it(i'm what i call myself a "bottleler"= bottle it up inside)..

On a different note, garage sale is THIS weekend so I need to price some stuff and go thru the house again and see what else i can get rid of. Carson has tons of toys that could go to a garage sale but i cant do that right now.. I'm somehow attached to his toys even tho he doesn't play with half the toys. I feel like i need his permission first before getting rid of them but I'm not going to even bother asking him, so its staying here in the house and pass down to next child. We are starting the potty training sessions again, i hope he GETS it this time..

I started reading a book called... 90 minutes in Heaven... cant think of the author right now but about the book, instead of closing the book feeling satisfied, its leaving me with questions.. Don't you hate that?! I'm determined to continue the book and see what the outcome is.. I'm only on chapter 2, maybe 3 so maybe later in the book, my questions will somewhat be answered.. Borrowed the book from my mil, makes me wonder if she felt the same way as me when she started the book. She is almost done with it, maybe i should give it back to her now that she'll be back from CO on Tuesday(??).. I need to get back to reading my bible, its been a while since I've opened it.. Sometimes i just don't know what parts to read when i open it. Maybe i should refer to my "God's yellow pages" directory and find the chapters that relates to my issues I'm dealing with right now. I need to find the right church out there for me.. Its hard not going to a church, i think it would help Alex too as well if we start church up again, I'm seeing a change in both of us right now and not liking it at all. Alrighty, off to pray and sleep.

Start right now by praying for your child to fear God, have faith in Him and His Word, and develop the kind of heart that seeks after Him. This could be the determining factor in whether your child will have a constant struggle living in the flesh or be fulfilled and blessed living in the Spirit.