it only took ONE sentence........

Been M.I.A for a few days... Sorry to disappoint some of my readers! :) We celebrated Carson's birthday on Tuesday evening.. Just alex, me, kylie and my sister. I made an ice cream cake roll that day and it was one of those days when i was stressed out and my fuse was running short.. unfortunately that had to be on Carson's birthday.. :( But it had a great ending! It was fun watching Carson get all excited about getting a cake with candles on it.. he could hardly wait thru the birthday song to blow the candles out(on the pictures, his hands says it all!!). We have pictures of him blowing his candles out.. he did it one by one.. So cute! I'll post pictures soon!
Last night, I went to bible study and glad I went, I almost didn't go b/c I had cleaned the garage out all afternoon and needed to shower and bathe Kylie before bible study but i made good timing so made it to bible study a little late.. but I came up with an idea of what we should do for bible study, b/c we have a book we are reading but umm... we hardly get to it b/c we talk too much! :) Well actually.. my mother in law had came up with an idea and then i threw in my idea that i have thought about for a while but just never brought it up! that is asking questions(bible study related) when you are struggling about things.. My struggle was.. I wanted to know where God stands at when it comes to personal issues.. It took one sentence that felt like all my questions were answered... God doesn't do bad things to us, its the CHOICES we make.. (it wasn't exactly worded like that, that's in my words..)
I got pregnant with Carson before marriage and I wasn't sure if this was God's plan even though we weren't married and I felt like I disappointed Him and others as well... I do believe that Carson was planned by Him(God does not make mistakes and NO ONE is an accident, maybe for the parents but not in God's eyes!) but still it was a choice that Alex and I made.. We knew we shouldn't be having premarital sex but that's nothing we can change now.. plus, where would we be without Carson!?! He is our BLESSING! If we didn't have Carson, I don't think we would have Kylie either.. (since this is a public blog, i wont get into details about that.. if i feel its right, I'll post a blog about that, but right now, i don't have that much time to blog about it) Carson and Kylie are our blessings! I've never had so much faith in God til AFTER I had Carson. Carson is the reason why I became a strong believer in God, sure I always believed in God but it wasn't enough! I try to live in God's way... (unassisted childbirth(with God as my "doctor".. *drawing a blank on a better word*), avoid unclean meat, homeopathy lifestyle, etc) I thank Him for my kids and my future kids if we continue to be blessed with more kids! And thank you Alex for helping me create Carson and Kylie.. ;)