Being a mom=lots of scraficing

The title almost explains it all in one short sentence.. Why am i saying this? Well yesterday while loading the dishwasher, i realized that I've sacrificed(with joy) a lot ever since I became a mom. I was invited to a bachelorettes party, its an overnight party at a hotel in DSM, now this would be really fun to go to but i wont be going for a few reasons, one I'm nursing kylie, I refuse to pump bottles for her and 2-i cant even handle staying away from my kids overnight.. done that with carson and wont do it again til I'm emotionally ready for it..
Before I became a mom, i was really looking forward to my 21st birthday b/c I'll be legal to drink and go to bars.. I remember telling ppl, i cant wait til i turn 21... well 21 came and it was just another number... Nothing exciting at all.. Alex, Carson and I actually all had the flu.. :) I still have not been to a bar and have no desire to go to one.. I'd just prefer to stay at home with my children than go to bars or partying. Some moms are able to do this on a every weekend basis or even during the weeks, i'm not sure how they can do it?? I promise to keep this a clean blog, I wont get ugly on this, it is something that bothers me a lot but...... someday i hope they realize how much they've missed out while their kids were growing up..
This morning i read a disturbing blog about a mom that killed herself and left behind a little girl.. My heart goes out to this little girl and the family. Something must have been really bothering her to be able to do that.. I literally get tears in my eyes when i wonder if anything will ever happen to me, being killed in a car accident or something like that(no i would NEVER kill myself if that even crossed your mind) and leaving my kids behind on earth.. Who is going to take care of them? I know Alex is capable of doing that but its MY job to take care of my kids and Alex be our financial supporter.. Its hard.. extremely hard on me.. I know that Heaven is a much better place, I often wonder what Heaven is like.. but I want to wait til my kids are on their own, I want them to be who I raised/want them to be.. That is something completely out of my control. I am trusting the Lord that he knows what he is doing and that my kids will be well taken care of and surrounded by lots of love.. That is IF that happened to me.. I really hope not!
I often ask myself, how do i want to be remembered as a mom.. my answer is.. i want to be remembered as a fun mom, i want them to have great childhood memories, i want to be remembered as a devoted mom... i want them to have a great relationship with God, this is something i will have to teach them and set an example for them too as well.. And I also want to be my children best friend!!
ok, moral of the story.. being a mom is a precious job, make the best of it!