today was such an overwhelming day and i couldn't even tell you why!? I've got tons of diapers to sew/cut, don't know what to do with everything here, want stuff up on my walls and nicely decorated but want colors on the walls first... Maybe i just need to take my B6 vitamins.. I ended up taking a nap today when Alex got home from work, feeling overwhelmed and not know what to do made me kinda feeling down and a nap sounded nice.. I miss my family and friends, things aren't the same anymore, but guess thats what happens when you give up time for your friends when you become a mom ... I wish there was a mommy's group i could attend on a weekly basis.. preferably young mom's group, but I'm picky! Some moms are sooo immature that i could seriously get pissed off at them, so it would have to be a mom's group with *qualifications*.. lol! I have friends that i grew up with that have a lil boy(they all happened to have a BOY... :)) now but we don't talk these days, only if we see run into each other somewhere, we always talk about going on a walk with the boys or do something but i always know that it wont happen.. what is up with that!? But yea, wish i had someone i can talk to, but i understand everyone is busy these days as i am a busy mom too as well, these jobs i do around here is never-ending.. talked to my mom on the phone today but it always makes me feel down when getting off the phone with her since we don't see her much and other reasons I wont share on here.. I could say other things about my relationships with others but i know this particular person reads this so it'd be best to keep it off this.. Thought about asking Alex to spoil Carson a day of fun at the park, feed the ducks, go on a walk or whatever sounds fun to them and let me be home by myself and catch up with the things I need time for myself with.. or do things i could enjoy.. I feel like this will make me a better mom if i do a hobby for a few hours and complete my list-to-do before baby arrives.. Its not going to be much longer when i have a baby that will depend on me 24/7 since I'm going to be a nursing mama again, so right now is the time to enjoy time on my own.. Night time, I'm usually too tired to do anything but relax, use the computer or watch tv.. I don't feel like I'm being a bad mom, its just... some days i feel overwhelmed that I'm influencing Carson in a way.. i know that doesn't make sense but yea.. just shake your head and smile...
God tells of all the wonderful things that will happen when we fast and pray. He says, "You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; and you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach" (Isaiah 58:12). God wants us to restore unity, to maintain the family bonds in the Lord, and to leave a spiritual inheritance of solidarity that can last for generations.
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