Precious

I went to check on Carson a little bit ago to see if he was asleep or not. Alex laid him down in bed and let him watch Clifford, the red dog on youtube on the Ipodtouch, so wasn't for sure if he was asleep yet or still watching it by the time i went to check on him. I had the hallway light on so I could see him.. I actually crawled in bed just to take a closer look at his precious, innocent sleeping face.. Memories was running thru my mind at the time. I remember just staring at him after he'd fall asleep on me after nursing.. So sweet!! I realized that time goes by fast when you have a kid(s). I try not to make myself feel guilty by needing time for myself during the day time when its just Carson and I at home.. Sometimes i'm on the computer a little bit too much, but i remind myself that theres lots of kids in daycare b/c their mom is working. My child has his MOM to go to when he needs something.. (i.e. snack, wanting a different tv channel, diaper change, or just to climb up on my lap and see what i'm doing, OR to bug me.. =)) So that makes me feel thankful that i can stay at home and be there for Carson's needs when other children don't have that. Big THANKS to Alex for supporting us as much as he can. I cant wait till it gets warmer out so i can take Carson to the park, to a pond to feed the ducks and fish or just walk up the road and play at the school's playground. Its not much longer till he's the only child.. I'm still feeling nervous about dividing my time between 2 kids and nervous about how he'll act with a baby around.. He loves to kiss my belly and say baby so right now I'm guessing he's going to be a sweet big brother but reality will hit him when the baby is HERE and STAYS here with us.. I know that I am looking forward to it but also enjoying the time with Carson as the only child.. This week I'd like to take Carson to the library and get books and videos and maybe even have him to sit at one of the tv's and watch a video with those headphones on him so i can sit near him and enjoy a good magazine OR book.. Something we BOTH can enjoy right?? =) it is something we can do at home but i have a hard time reading with noise around.. but as i was typing that, i just realize that i could shut my C.I. off!! lol never thought of that! Well guess i should get in bed now.. been a long day! OH!! I also thought about ending my blogs with a parents prayer that i recently started to read on a daily basis. I have a daily parent prayer book calendar sitting out for Alex and I to read.. So here is todays...

Parental love is often the means by which children actually open themselves to God's love and come to understand it early in life. That's why from the time our children are born, we should pray, "God, help me to really love my child the way You want me to and teach me how to show it in a way he/she can understand."